photos: Photo by Jackie Dives.

Happy bus driver

Vendor Voices: Jim Ryder pens a poem both funny and dark about riding on the bus through the eyes of a bus driver

Get on your megaphone

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By Jim Ryder

“Come on aboard
the cross-town Ten
we know that you’ll ride
on our bus again.”

“With our courteous service
and a happy winning smile
we’ll help you all to travel
the miracle mile.”

“What? You have no money?
It’s not my problem, sir,
that changes the equation
step back into the rear!”

“Thank Christ, here’s security:
They’re in the back evading fares!
Lounging with their feet up
like they don’t have a care!”

“Roust them off the bus
but, try not to get too close
I don’t think they wash
and, man that’s really gross!”

“Make those people walk
it’s that way to Hastings
this is world-class transit
and it’s our time they’re wasting!”

“We can’t have this guff
from non-paying clients
and I’d like to thank good citizens
who are otherwise in compliance!”

“Oh, this is all too much
I’m going on stress-leave
my chakras need re-alignment
I must have time to grieve!”

“I hate what I do,
but, I’m trapped in a maze
stuck in this shitty dead-end job
‘til the last of my days!”

Jim Ryder sells Megaphone in Vancouver.

Get on your megaphone

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